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Dealing with Difficult People: Ten Ways to Improve Your Communications Success
Have you noticed that some people seem to stop listening even before you start talking? Do you avoid approaching some people unless you absolutely have too? Improve your chance for conversational success by considering the following ten factors before starting your next conversation.
1. Consider the setting. Where will the conversation take place? Is it public or private? Are there other things going on that will be distracting? Is the setting approapriate for the topic?
2. Consider the personality, gender, culture, age, etc. of the other person. If the person is different from you in these respects, you will want to adapt your style of communication to respect these differences.
3. Consider the internal influences (emotions, bias, etc.) on how you approach the conversation. What is your motivation? What baggage are you bringing with you as you talk with this person? Recognize it so that it won't get in your way.
4. Consider the internal influences (emotions, bias, etc.) on how the other person will receive the message. How might your history of communication with this person impact the way they respond to your approach? Will they be distrustful, anxious, humiliated? Your past words and actions will impact whether they will be receptive to you and your message.
5. Consider the interest level/level of importance of the other person. How much information does this person need to know? Is the topic relevant to their work or do they just need a basic awareness of it? Would verbal bullet points work better than an in-depth report? Be careful not to overwhelm someone with how much you know. They may think you are just trying to impress them or boast about your knowledge.
6. Consider the language needs (familiarity with topic, jargon, educational level, etc.) of the other person. Are you using words the person is familiar with or talking over their head? Are you talking in a demeaning way by "dumbing down" your word choices?
7. Consider what you want to accomplish by initiating the conversation. Keep your goal and the message in the front of your mind. If you need to relay information make sure that the person understands the information. If you need to address a challenge, make sure you address the challenge without making it a personal battle.
8. Consider what the other person might need to receive from the conversation. Stick to the information the other person needs. Don't try to become friends or talk about personal stuff if the other person isn't responding positively to that direction of your conversation.
9. Consider the long-term impact of the words, tone, and gestures they use. You may be having a bad day, but the other person may take your comments or attitude personally. That will impact future conversations. If you've had a bad day and said something inappropriate go back to the person to apologize and briefly explain that you were having a bad day and wrongly took it out on that person.
10. Consider the external factors (noise, distractions, setting, etc.) that will impact how the message is relayed and received. Again we return to setting. Make sure that you initiate and participate in conversations that provide the best environment for a successful exchange of ideas and information.
Copyright 2005 Donna Doyon. All rights reserved. You are freeto reprint this story as long as you include complete attribution, including a live web site link.
The attribution should read:
By Donna Doyon, author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit and ReleaseYour Inner Beauty. Please visit Donna's web site athttp://www.donnadoyon.com/ for information on how you can say"goodbye" to self-defeating attitudes and behaviors and "hello"to a more successful, balanced, and joy-filled life!'
Donna Doyon, Activities Coordinator for Your Virtual Retreat is the author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty. She offers information, inspiration and encouragement to people who want to say goodbye to self defeating attitudes and behaviors and hello to greater success, healthier relationships and more joyful living. Get inspired at her website: http://www.donnadoyon.com
Team Building - Google News
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Team Building requires one great dynamic for true Success - Mateship
A Successful Team is built around mateship, around respect for your team mates and for yourself. I am not saying that everyone will get on like best buddies, what I noticed is that in all our 'differences' everyone was accepted as they were, got on within the boundaries of the club and got the job done.
Building a Successful Team
Once you've set a goal for yourself as a leader - whether it is to create your own enterprise, energize your organization, build a church, or excel in sports - the challenge is to find good people to help you accomplish that goal. Gathering a successful team of people is not only helpful, it's necessary.
Seven Keys to More Effectively Leading Teams
Maybe you find yourself in a new team environment and leading a team for the first time, or maybe you have been working with and leading teams forever. Either way, the keys in this article - whether as new information or a fresh reminder - can make a world of difference in morale, productivity and results from teams.
Franchisee Relations and Team Work
Franchisees of a particular franchise must get along in order for the team to hyperspace the competition. Recently our company; Franchising.
Leadership - Do The Simple But Important Things
Why do we human beings complicate things? Is it that we don't believe that simple things work. From years of working with leaders at all levels and many different sectors here are the simple yet powerful steps you must take if you want to be a brilliant leader.
Why It Pays to Out More Humor in the Workplace
1. Humor reduces stress levels and stress is the number one problem confronting employees today.
What Every Manager, Parent, and Teacher Should Know About How to Unify Employees, Families, & Youth
Project Head Start has been successful not only for the youthful students, but for the teachers, supporting staff, and families as well. My first job while still in college was as a Teacher's Assistant during the summer of 1968.
Whats Your REAL problem??
When was the last time you spent excessive time and money solving a problem only to discover the problem you thought you had wasn't really the problem at all?Recognizing the real problem is crucial to any problem-solving venture. John Dewey said, "A problem is half solved if it is properly stated.
General Patton and Leadership
No figure in history is like General Patton. He was colorful, hard core and got the job done.
What Do Trainers Do When They are Not Training?
In the new corporate environments where everyone wears more than one hat, trainers are often responsible for a myriad of duties beyond just facilitating new training classes. Their job is often that of Maintenance, IT Guru, Subject Matter Expert, Coach, Instructional designer, and Copy Clerk.
Team Building Seminars: Why New Teams Struggle
With over 25 years of research and experience, we have observed countless groups struggle with activities in our Team Building Seminars. These groups all had the same common denominators, whether they were strangers or intact work teams, that became apparent during the first activity in which they were asked to work effectively together.
The Stages Of Team Development
One of the greatest challenges a coaching manager has is in moving his or her team though the various team development stages. If a manager has no, or little experience of teams and team dynamics then taking over a team and then leading that team can be a very stressful experience.
Building High Performing Teams: Putting the I Back in Teamwork
Ever watched a really brilliant idea meet with resistance and die? Or been involved in the battle of wills created when two people (or two departments) meet head on with their independent agendas? Equally painful perhaps, have you ever sat through one tireless and non-productive meeting after the next? Believe it or not these issues are simply different sides of the same coin. Getting the right people talking together effectively and generating desirable outcomes is what high performance teamwork is all about.
Effective Team Building Part 1 - Another Brick in the Wall!
The first in a series of articles giving a slightly different viewpoint on effective team building, condensed from an original seminar presented by the author, John Roberts. John is a Freelance Training Consultant and director of JayrConsulting Ltd.
Why People Dont Listen... and Some Fun Things You Can Do About It
It's frustrating when your co-workers, audience members, teenager or even your dog (!) won't listen. While you can't control how they receive what you say, you can control how you send it.
What College Taught Me About Teamwork Training
I declared a Communications Major two years into school, after discovering that it was a subject in which I had sincere interest. Now that I have graduated from college, I look back at the myriad of group projects and interactions that I had with the fellow students.
Station Teams: Assembly Required
Too often teams aren't assembled. They just happen.
Hand Out Warm Glows
Do you remember how you felt after your last interactionwith another person either on the phone or face to face?That person - it could have been a customer, a colleague, asalesperson, a friend or even a member of your family. Didthey make you feel good, uplifted and more positive, didthey leave you feeling neutral or did they make you feeldown and more negative.
Motivation - Dont Make Your Team Uncomfortable
The people in your team may feel a bit uncomfortable whenyou sit down and spend time with them, particularly ifthey're not used to it. They might not be used to you doingit or perhaps a previous manager didn't do it.
Checklist for High Performing Teams
Why do some teams perform well while others struggle? How can you assess how effectively your team is working now, and identify methods for improvement?Research shows that 85% of the reasons that teams of people succeed or struggle has more to do with interpersonal issues, than technical competence. But both are needed for effective teamwork.
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